Where to watch zoom movie movie#
Having not watched this movie in years, I cannot recall why I had such resentment for this child.
Today, I look back on this fact with suspicion. I spent much of my last review talking about how much I hated the character Cindy.
Out of literal children, because why not? (Real talk: I haven't rewatched the movie yet while I'm writing this, so I don't remember if they ever explain why it has to be children, but even if they do attempt to explain it, it's ridiculous.)Īnd so, Tim Allen is called back into action to train this new team, including telekinetic Summer, played by a young Kate Mara, who spends her spare time splattering bullies with nasty cafeteria food Dylan, played by some guy called Michael Cassidy who went on to do absolutely nothing after this came out, who can turn invisible and astral project Tucker, played by Abigail's younger brother Spencer Breslin, who has the power of inflating himself, and about whom a metric ton (excuse the pun) of fat jokes are made and Cindy, played by Ryan Newman (who shockingly enough is still around in Hollywood), a six-year-old with super strength. To stop this from happening, the government - including Rip Torn, Chevy Chase and Courteney Cox playing three of the most unlikable characters of all time ever - decides to assemble a new Zenith team to fight him.
other dimension (god this plot point is stupid), and the movie puts a dumbass clock on how much time there is before the villain breaks back into our world and kills us all. So, after 30 years, Concussion somehow manages to escape the. After the incident, Zoom mostly lost his powers - except, get this, in one finger (ooh la la) - and became an auto mechanic so lazy that he uses said finger to blend smoothies. The only survivor of Concussion's turn to the dark side was his brother, the super-speedy Zoom (Tim Allen in the worst role I have ever seen him in, and I've seen The Shaggy Dog, so that's saying something). You guys do know you could have just used stock photos, right.? Why would you hire Alexis Bledel at the height of her Gilmore Girls fame to appear in a photo for three seconds? And Wilmer Valderrama wasn't exactly an unknown, either. And, although they only ever appear in a goddamn picture, the Zenith team are played by some pretty huge-name actors. The general plot is that, 30 years ago, there was a team of young heroes called the Zenith team who fought evil together, but one of them - this movie's villain, Concussion - turned to the dark side and attacked the rest before being banished to another dimension or something stupid like that. Like I mentioned, Zoom features a bunch of kids with superpowers. Why does 3% seem so much more pathetic than 0%? I don't know. It got a three percent on Rotten Tomatoes. While Sky High was well-received by everyone and could probably be called a cult film today, Zoom, as I mentioned, didn't fare nearly as well. Both movies featured songs by Bowling for Soup. Zoom: Academy for Superheroes came out in 2006 and was generally regarded as the vastly inferior stillborn twin of Sky High, another semi-parody about superpowered kids that was released a year prior. I think I'm going to watch this again and love it. Sure, I hated it in 2014, but today? A schlubby Tim Allen barely giving a shit or earning his paycheck, blandly and annoyedly reacting to all kinds of weird superhero shit happening around him? Courteney Cox as an eccentric scientist who can spit rainbows? Superpowered children teaming up to torture Chevy Chase? Awful special effects? Genuinely the weirdest plot of any superhero movie I've ever seen? Cringeworthy humor? A "training montage" where everyone just stands around trying to dodge paintballs? A 3% rating on Rotten Tomatoes? And, terrifyingly, I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm going to end up ironically loving it when I do rewatch it. So I thought I'd redo it.Īny problems with this? Well. It points out a lot of things I thought were wrong with this movie, but it doesn't go as in-depth as it should, it's not funny, and - of course it was published in 2014 - it's terribly written. So much that in 2014, I wrote a brief, but decidedly revolted and hateful, review of it. I grew to hate this movie, really hate it, deep in the marrow of my bones. And yet, I don't know why - maybe because I was a masochist - I would watch it again as a kid, and again, repulsed and fascinated.
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